More Funny Running Quotes

Get Inspired with These Humorous Running Quotes

Christine Luff

Get some laughs from these funny running quotes:

1. "No doubt a brain and some shoes are essential for marathon success, although if it comes down to a choice, pick the shoes. More people finish marathons with no brains than with no shoes."
-- Don Kardong

2.  "In the first half of the race, don't be an idiot. In the second half, don't be a wimp!"
-Scott Douglas, on running marathons

3. "Run like there's a hot guy in front of you and a creepy one behind you."
-Seen on runner's T-shirt

4. "Slow runners make fast runners look good. You're welcome."

5. "Any idiot can run, but it takes a special kind of idiot to run a marathon." -Unknown

6. "Running won't solve all your problems. But then again, neither will housework."

7. "My doctor told me that jogging could add years to my life. I think he was right. I feel ten years older already."
--Milton Berle

8. "I don't run. And if you ever see me run, you should start running too. Because something is probably chasing me."

9. "If found on ground, please drag to finish line."
--Seen on the back of runner's T-shirt

10. "It's rude to count people as you pass them. Out loud."

11.  "A good run is like a cup of coffee...I'm much nicer after I've had one."

12. "My other legs are Kenyan."
-Seen on a bumper sticker

13."Jogging is for people who aren't intelligent enough to watch television."
-Victoria Wood

14."The trouble with jogging is that by the time you realize you're not in shape for it, it's too far to walk back."
-Franklin P.


15. "-Why aren't you signed up for the 401K?"
"-I'd never be able to run that far."
-Scott Adams, Dilbert (4/2/01)

16.  "I don't run. And if you ever see me run, you should start running too. Because something is probably chasing me." - someecards

17. "It's a hill. Get over it."
-Seen on the back of a runner's T-shirt

18. "If you run 100 miles a week, you can eat anything you want.

Why? Because: (a) You'll burn all the calories you consume, (b) you deserve it, and (c) you'll be injured soon and back on a restricted diet anyway."
– Don Kardong

19. "If the hill has its own name, then it's probably a pretty tough hill."
-Marty Stern

20.  "To a runner, a side stich is like a car alarm. It signifies something is wrong, but you ignore it until it goes away."
-- Anonymous

21.  "If you're running on the treadmill next to me, the answer is YES...we are racing."

22. "Start slow, then taper off."
-- Walt Stack

23. "Remember, the second most important thing to choosing the right shoe, is choosing the left one."
-- High school coach to his runners

24. "The trouble with jogging is that the ice falls out of your glass."
--Martin Mull

25. "Jogging is very beneficial. It's good for your legs and your feet. It's also very good for the ground. It makes it feel needed."
--Charles Schulz, "Peanuts"

26. "Long distance running is 90% mental and the other half is physical."
-- Rich Davis

27. "Running makes me feel less like I want to kill people."


Get ideas for funny marathon spectator signs.

Read funny running quotes on running T-shirts.

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