50 More Funny Running Quotes

Humorous Insights from Runners and Celebrities

man and woman running laughing at running jokes

Verywell / Ryan Kelly

When you're logging mileage, sometimes the best push is a good laugh. Here are 50 quotes and funny sayings about running from comedy legends like Robin Williams and Jimmy Fallon to clever sayings seen on running apparel. When you start to hit a wall, call to mind some of these funny quotes to keep those feet moving.

  1. "No doubt a brain and some shoes are essential for marathon success. Although if it comes down to a choice, pick the shoes. More people finish marathons with no brains than with no shoes." - Don Kardong
  2. "Jogging is very beneficial. It's good for your legs and your feet. It's also very good for the ground. It makes it feel needed." - Charles Schulz
  3. "Runner's logic: I'm tired. Let me go for a run." - Unknown
  4. "There are many challenges to long distance running, but one of the greatest is the question of where to put one’s house keys." - Gabrielle Zevin
  5. "The trouble with jogging is that the ice falls out of your glass." - Martin Mull
  6. "Long distance running is 90 percent mental and the other half is physical." - Rich Hall
  7. "Marathon runners with bad shoes suffer the agony of de feet." - Unknown
  8. "My doctor told me that jogging could add years to my life. I think he was right. I feel ten years older already." - Milton Berle
  9. "Slow runners make fast runners look good. Thank you." - From the back of a T-shirt
  10. "If you run 100 miles a week, you can eat anything you want. Why? Because (a) you'll burn all the calories you consume, (b) you deserve it, and (c) you'll be injured soon and back on a restricted diet anyway." - Don Kardong
  11. "Slow runners make fast runners look good. Thank you." - From the back of a T-shirt
  12. "If you start to feel good during an ultra, don't worry, you will get over it." - Gene Thibeault
  13. "The only reason I would take up jogging is so that I could hear heavy breathing again." - Erma Bombeck
  14. "My other legs are Kenyan." - From a pair of running shorts
  15. "Act like a horse. Be dumb. Just run." - Jumbo Elliot
  16. "Run like you stole something." - Unknown
  17. "I love running cross country. On a track, I feel like a hamster." - Robin Williams
  18. "Life is short. Running makes it seem longer." - Baron Hansen
  19. "If found on ground, please drag to finish line." - From a runner's T-shirt
  20. "If the hill has its own name, then it's probably a pretty tough hill." - Marty Stern
  21. "Jogging is for people who aren't intelligent enough to watch television." - Victoria Wood
  22. "Start slow, then taper off." - Walt Stack
  23. "I consider my refusal to run today as resistance training." - Unknown
  24. "I don't think jogging is healthy, especially morning jogging. If morning joggers knew how tempting they looked to morning motorists, they would stay home and do sit-ups." - Rita Rudner
  25. "It is true that speed kills. In distance running, it kills anyone who does not have it." - Brooks Johnson
  26. "Most people never run far enough on their first wind to find out they've got a second." - William James
  27. "If you feel bad at 10 miles, you're in trouble. If you feel bad at 20 miles, you're normal. If you don't feel bad at 26 miles, you're abnormal." - Rob de Castella
  28. "Good things come slow. Especially in distance running." - Bill Dellinger
  29. "How do you know if someone ran a marathon? Don’t worry, they’ll tell you." - Jimmy Fallon
  30. "Run like hell and get the agony over with." - Clarence DeMar
  31. "A good run is like a cup of coffee. I'm much nicer after I've had one." - Unknown
  32. "Running a marathon felt like I played in a very rough football game with no hitting above the waist." - Alan Page
  33. "Remember, the second most important thing to choosing the right shoe is choosing the left one." - Unknown
  34. "It's unnatural for people to run around the city streets unless they are thieves or victims. It makes people nervous to see someone running. I know that when I see someone running on my street, my instincts tell me to let the dog go after him." - Mike Royko
  35. "Your sweat is your fat crying. Keep it up." - From a runner's T-shirt
  36. "The trouble with jogging is that by the time you realize you're not in shape for it, it's too far to walk back." - Franklin Jones
  37. "Run like there's a hot guy in front of you and a creepy one behind you." - Unknown
  38. "Finland has produced so many brilliant distance runners because back home it costs $2.50 a gallon for gas." - Esa Tikkannen
  39. "It's a hill. Get over it." - From a runner's T-shirt
  40. "If God invented marathons to keep people from doing anything more stupid, the triathlon must have taken him completely by surprise." - P.Z. Pearce
  41. "I run so my goals in life will continue to get bigger instead of my belly." - Bill Kirby
  42. "I go running when I have to. Like when the ice cream truck is doing sixty." - Wendy Liebman
  43. "We can’t all be heroes because someone has to sit on the curb and clap as they go by." - Will Rogers
  44. "I don't believe in jogging. It extending your life, but by about the same amount of time you spend jogging." - Marshall Brickman
  45. "I believe that the good Lord gave us a finite number of heartbeats and I'm damned if I'm going to use up mine running up and down a street." - Neil Armstrong
  46. "It's rude to count people as you pass them. Out loud." - From an Adidas ad
  47. "Run. Because zombies will eat the untrained ones first." - From the Zombie Apocalypse Survival Guide
  48. "Running won't solve all your problems. But then again, neither will housework." - Unknown
  49. “Marathoners: Life is too easy. I must find a way to make it much, much harder.” - Glennon Doyle
  50. "Running makes me feel less like I want to kill people." - From a runner's T-shirt

A Word From Verywell

Studies show that humor can help people put less emphasis on negative emotions and simultaneously promote positive emotions. When you see or hear funny quotes related to running, jot them down somewhere. Try keeping a few favorites on hand to help foster a positive attitude you when you could use an extra push.

1 Source
Verywell Fit uses only high-quality sources, including peer-reviewed studies, to support the facts within our articles. Read our editorial process to learn more about how we fact-check and keep our content accurate, reliable, and trustworthy.
  1. Tagalidou N, Loderer V, Distlberger E, Laireiter AR. Feasibility of a humor training to promote humor and decrease stress in a subclinical sample: a single-arm pilot study. Front Psychol. 2018;9:577. doi:10.3389/fpsyg.2018.00577

By Christine Luff, ACE-CPT
Christine Many Luff is a personal trainer, fitness nutrition specialist, and Road Runners Club of America Certified Coach.