50 More Funny Running Quotes

When you're logging mileage, sometimes the best push is a good laugh. Here are 50 quotes and funny sayings about running from comedy legends like Robin Williams and Jimmy Fallon to clever sayings seen on running apparel. When you start to hit a wall, call to mind some of these funny quotes to keep those feet moving.

1. "No doubt a brain and some shoes are essential for marathon success. Although if it comes down to a choice, pick the shoes. More people finish marathons with no brains than with no shoes." - Don Kardong
2. "Jogging is very beneficial. It's good for your legs and your feet. It's also very good for the ground. It makes it feel needed." - Charles Schulz
3. "Runner's logic: I'm tired. Let me go for a run." - Unknown
4. "There are many challenges to long distance running, but one of the greatest is the question of where to put one’s house keys." - Gabrielle Zevin
5. "The trouble with jogging is that the ice falls out of your glass." - Martin Mull
6. "Long distance running is 90 percent mental and the other half is physical." - Rich Hall
7. "Marathon runners with bad shoes suffer the agony of de feet." - Unknown
8. "My doctor told me that jogging could add years to my life. I think he was right. I feel ten years older already." - Milton Berle
9. "Slow runners make fast runners look good. Thank you." - From the back of a T-shirt
10. "If you run 100 miles a week, you can eat anything you want. Why? Because (a) you'll burn all the calories you consume, (b) you deserve it, and (c) you'll be injured soon and back on a restricted diet anyway." - Don Kardong
11. "Slow runners make fast runners look good. Thank you." - From the back of a T-shirt
12. "If you start to feel good during an ultra, don't worry, you will get over it." - Gene Thibeault
13. "The only reason I would take up jogging is so that I could hear heavy breathing again." - Erma Bombeck
14. "My other legs are Kenyan." - From a pair of running shorts
15. "Act like a horse. Be dumb. Just run." - Jumbo Elliot
16. "Run like you stole something." - Unknown
17. "I love running cross country. On a track, I feel like a hamster." - Robin Williams
18. "Life is short. Running makes it seem longer." - Baron Hansen
19. "If found on ground, please drag to finish line." - From a runner's T-shirt
20. "If the hill has its own name, then it's probably a pretty tough hill." - Marty Stern
21. "Jogging is for people who aren't intelligent enough to watch television." - Victoria Wood
22. "Start slow, then taper off." - Walt Stack
23. "I consider my refusal to run today as resistance training." - Unknown
24. "I don't think jogging is healthy, especially morning jogging. If morning joggers knew how tempting they looked to morning motorists, they would stay home and do sit-ups." - Rita Rudner
25. "It is true that speed kills. In distance running, it kills anyone who does not have it." - Brooks Johnson
26. "Most people never run far enough on their first wind to find out they've got a second." - William James
27. "If you feel bad at 10 miles, you're in trouble. If you feel bad at 20 miles, you're normal. If you don't feel bad at 26 miles, you're abnormal." - Rob de Castella
28. "Good things come slow. Especially in distance running." - Bill Dellinger
29. "How do you know if someone ran a marathon? Don’t worry, they’ll tell you." - Jimmy Fallon
30. "Run like hell and get the agony over with." - Clarence DeMar
31. "A good run is like a cup of coffee. I'm much nicer after I've had one." - Unknown
32. "Running a marathon felt like I played in a very rough football game with no hitting above the waist." - Alan Page
33. "Remember, the second most important thing to choosing the right shoe is choosing the left one." - Unknown
34. "It's unnatural for people to run around the city streets unless they are thieves or victims. It makes people nervous to see someone running. I know that when I see someone running on my street, my instincts tell me to let the dog go after him." - Mike Royko
35. "Your sweat is your fat crying. Keep it up." - From a runner's T-shirt
36. "The trouble with jogging is that by the time you realize you're not in shape for it, it's too far to walk back." - Franklin Jones
37. "Run like there's a hot guy in front of you and a creepy one behind you." - Unknown
38. "Finland has produced so many brilliant distance runners because back home it costs $2.50 a gallon for gas." - Esa Tikkannen
39. "It's a hill. Get over it." - From a runner's T-shirt
40. "If God invented marathons to keep people from doing anything more stupid, the triathlon must have taken him completely by surprise." - P.Z. Pearce
41. "I run so my goals in life will continue to get bigger instead of my belly." - Bill Kirby
42. "I go running when I have to. Like when the ice cream truck is doing sixty." - Wendy Liebman
43. "We can’t all be heroes because someone has to sit on the curb and clap as they go by." - Will Rogers
44. "I don't believe in jogging. It extending your life, but by about the same amount of time you spend jogging." - Marshall Brickman
45. "I believe that the good Lord gave us a finite number of heartbeats and I'm damned if I'm going to use up mine running up and down a street." - Neil Armstrong
46. "It's rude to count people as you pass them. Out loud." - From an Adidas ad
47. "Run. Because zombies will eat the untrained ones first." - From the Zombie Apocalypse Survival Guide
    
48. "Running won't solve all your problems. But then again, neither will housework." - Unknown
    
49. “Marathoners: Life is too easy. I must find a way to make it much, much harder.” - Glennon Doyle
    
50. "Running makes me feel less like I want to kill people." - From a runner's T-shirt

A Word From Verywell

Studies show that humor can help people put less emphasis on negative emotions and simultaneously promote positive emotions. When you see or hear funny quotes related to running, jot them down somewhere. Try keeping a few favorites on hand to help foster a positive attitude you when you could use an extra push.