3 Tips for Dating When You're Overweight

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Trying to meet the right person is hard enough. But what if you are also trying to lose weight when you hit the dating scene? If you are overweight, or even if you are not at your “perfect” weight, you may feel more vulnerable in the singles market. 

Whether you're dating online or trying to meet your match the old-fashioned way, there are a few things you need to know before you date when you're overweight. Use these tips to feel good, enjoy the experience and have fun in the process. 

How Much Does Weight Matter on a Date?

There's no need to obsess about your weight when you're dating. Believe it or not, your date may not even care about your weight. And even if they do care, it probably matters less to them than it does to you.

I asked dating expert Ethan Fixell about what really matters when a person meets their date for the first time. He gives the skinny on what people really think about your weight. And guess what? There many other things that matter more to your date than the inches on your belly or your hips.

If you're worried about how you look, don't worry. It's normal to want to present your best self when you're dating. But there are things you can do to boost your confidence and put your best foot forward.

What to Avoid on a Date If You're Overweight

The rules for dating when you're overweight aren't very different from the rules for dating when you're at your goal weight. But there are three things in particular that you should not do if you if you're dating and overweight.

Don’t Diminish Yourself

It doesn’t matter that you are not at your perfect weight, because no one is perfect. And even if someone was perfect, they'd probably be a pain in the butt to date. So be at peace with who you are now. And even if you don't feel that way — fake it.

So how do you present yourself with confidence if your heart isn't fully into it? The process begins long before the date ever happens. First, be honest (and proud) about who you are. If you use an online service, post pictures that reflect the body you have right now. Pick shots that emphasize your best features, but don’t show outdated or photoshopped “skinny” pics if they don’t reflect your current size.

Next, prepare for your date with your most confident and sexy self in mind. Of course, that doesn't mean that you should dress provocatively, but wearing some flirty lingerie might help you feel romantic. "Feeling comfortable in your clothes — and lingerie — is what will always help boost your confidence," says lingerie expert Marie Redding. 

Lastly, show up for your date looking and feeling sleek and fabulous. Easier said than done? Not really. Believe it or not, the simple act of standing tall makes a huge difference. Researchers have studied good posture and found that it makes a big difference in the way we feel and the way that we are perceived. So put on a smile and a sexy stance when you head out on the town.

Don't Overindulge

No man (or woman) is worth giving up your goals — ever. So don't ditch your diet just because your date is cute or because you feel pressure to eat the way they do. If your date involves eating at a restaurant, plan ahead and so that you can make reasonable choices that honor your priorities. There are plenty of ways to eat well in a restaurant, like choosing the right spot for your table or making good menu choices. You can also use the 80/20 rule to enjoy a few indulgences without derailing your diet.

In addition, be mindful of your alcohol intake. Your date might not care about your weight, but they probably will care if they have to pick you up off the floor and shovel you into a cab at the end of the evening. Alcohol is also the best way to ruin your diet. So enjoy a drink if you like, but make smarter booze choices to keep your diet — and your date — on track.

Don't Talk About Your Weight

If your date doesn't care about your weight, they probably also don't care about your diet. So don’t bore your date with the details of your diet unless it comes up in normal conversation.

You may also want to avoid uncomfortable discussions about your size. Words like "fat" shouldn't come up on a date — from their mouth or yours. There's no need for you to explain your weight, your plan for changing it or your history of dieting. If it matters that much to them, it may be a sign that you're with the wrong person.

Lastly, if you're not finding a mate that makes you feel comfortable, why not try a dating site designed specifically for people just like you? WeightlessDate.com is for singles who are in the process of weight loss or have lost a significant amount of weight. The site might be the best online dating site for you if weight loss has been or is a big part of your life.

Remember that dating is about finding a good fit — for you and for your partner. If you date when you're overweight or trying to lose weight, that means finding a mate who appreciates you at every stage of the process. Have fun, but honor yourself and your health goals in the dating process.

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