Funny Running Quotes

A Collection of Funny Quotations About Running

Christine Luff

Runners have a unique sense of humor. Get some laughs from these running quotes.

1. "The only reason I would take up jogging is so that I could hear heavy breathing again."
- Erma Bombeck

2. "You have to forget your last marathon before you try another. Your mind can't know what's coming. "
- Frank Shorter, 1972 Olympic marathon gold medalist

3. "If you start to feel good during an ultra, don't worry, you will get over it."
- Gene Thibeault

4. "I'm going to go out a winner if I have to find a high school race to win my last race."
- Johnny Gray

5. "I don't think jogging is healthy, especially morning jogging. If morning joggers knew how tempting they looked to morning motorists, they would stay home and do sit-ups."
- Rita Rudner

6. "If it was easy, I would do it."
-seen on a marathon spectator sign

7. "I love running cross country....On a track, I feel like a hamster."
- Robin Williams

8. "Before you criticize someone, you should run a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you're a mile away and you have their shoes."

9. "If you never have a 'bad' day, you're probably doing something wrong; if you never have a 'good' day, you're definitely doing something wrong."
-Mark Remy

10. "The trouble with jogging is that by the time you realize you're not in shape for it, it's too far to walk back."
-Franklin Jones

11. "I run so my goals in life will continue to get bigger instead of my belly."
- Bill Kirby

12. "Running is a mental sport...and we're all insane!"
- Author unknown

13. "Life is short... running makes it seem longer."
- Baron Hansen

14. "I didn't train all that time just to come here and get it over with as fast as I can."
-John Bingham, on running marathons

15. "My mascara runs faster than you do."
-seen on a runner's T-shirt

16. "I go running when I have to. When the ice cream truck is doing sixty."
- Wendy Liebman

17. "We can't all be heroes because someone has to sit on the curb and clap as they go by."
- Will Rogers

18. "I believe that every human being has a finite number of heartbeats, and I don't intend to waste any of mine running around doing exercises."
- Neil Armstrong

19. "It's the road signs, 'Beware of lions.'"
-Kip Lagat, Kenyan distance runner, on why his country produces so many great runners

20. "You don't run twenty–six miles at five minutes a mile on good looks and a secret recipe."
-Frank Shorter, winner of the 1972 Olympic marathon

21. If you don't have answers to your problems after a four-hour, you ain't getting them."
- Christopher McDougall, author of Born to Run

22. "Run in the morning -- because your brain knows what it's doing."

23. "To run or not to run? What a stupid question."

24. Bad weather always looks worse through a window.
-Tom Lehrer

25. "There are many challenges to long distance running, but one of the greatest is the question of where to put one’s house keys."
-Gabrielle Zevin

26. "How do you know if someone ran a marathon?  Don't worry, they'll tell you." 
-Jimmy Fallon