Quotes for Funny Marathon Spectator Signs

Marathon runners love to read signs along the race course to help break the monotony. If you're planning on watching a marathon, make some signs -– the runners will love you for it. Funny spectator signs are always a good distraction. Here are some ideas:

• "Your feet hurt because you are kicking so much butt!"
• "Your legs will forgive you...eventually."
• "Don't stop -- people are watching."
• "Worst Parade Ever"
• "Chafe now...brag forever."
• "That's not sweat, it's your fat cells crying."
• "You've got stamina! Call me!"
• "Hurry up, we're missing brunch"
• "Run like you stole something."
• "Smile if you're not wearing underwear"
• "This is a lot of work for a free banana"
• "Toenails are for sissies."
• "Hurry up...beer misses you!"
• "Punch here for power" (with a bullseye)
• "You could have chosen chess"
• "Blisters are Braille for awesome"
• "I'd rather eat 26.2 pizzas."
• "You're not slow. You're just enjoying the course."
• "Stop reading this and keep running!"
• "Beat Oprah!"
• "Puke and rally!"
• "Don't worry, toenails are overrated."
• "Run like someone's chasing you."
• "You run marathons...I watch them on Netflix"
• "Run faster...I just farted."
• "Sweat is sexy."
• "If it was easy, I would do it."
• "Always give 100%! Except when giving blood"
• "You trained longer than Kim Kardashian's marriage!"
• "May the course be with you!"
• "Hurry up! People are waiting for you!"
• "Humpty Dumpty had wall issues, too!"
• "Hotties and burgers at the finish"
• "WTF? (Where's The Finish?)"
• "Staying up all night making this sign was hard, too."
• "Turn around! It's a trap"
• "Run like a fugitive"
• "You don't have to run tomorrow!"
• "You've come this far...you might as well finish!"
• "Run! There's a cute guy in front of you and a creepy guy behind you."
• "Free hugs if you're not wearing underwear"
• "You are NOT almost there." (seen at mile 1)
• "Go Random Stranger, Go!"
• "I thought this was a 'Law and Order' Marathon!"
• "Because 26.3 would be crazy"
• "There is no app for this, keep running."
• "The end is near." (Sign held by man dressed as the Grim Reaper at mile 21 of the 2010 Marine Corps Marathon, which was on Halloween)
• "Whine now, wine later"
• "If you really loved me, you'd run faster!"
• "Black toenails are sexy"
• "Smile, you're still faster than all the people behind you"
• "Don't F@#& It Up!"
• "Your shoelaces are untied!"
• "Ice baths and cookies at the finish!"
• "Run as if a hand just reached out of the ground and grabbed your ankle!"
• "Take a cab. It's faster!"
• "Run like you're chasing squirrels!" (with a photo of a dog)
• "Run Forrest Run!"
• "No one made you do this!"
• "This parade is going too fast...where are the floats?"
• "Hey marathoners, hurry up! The half marathoners are eating all the food!”
• "You're almost there! (That's what SHE said!)"
• "You're going the wrong way!"
• "Only 26.1 miles to go!"
• "Smile if you're not wearing underwear!"
• "Run!! Zombies are chasing you!"
• "Run like someone just called you a jogger."
• "5 to 1 you hurl before this is over"
• "Smile if you peed a little"
• "I'm just trying to cross the street!"
• "May the course be with you" (with a picture of Yoda)
• "High Fives $5"
• "Think this is hard? Try growing out bangs!"
• "Hey Stranger, I'm cheering for you!"
• "Take the subway...it's faster!"
• "Run like your iPhone is at 1%!"
• "Mortuary ahead....look alive!"
• "Run easy. You're not going to win!"
• "If I ran it, by God, you can, too."
• "Chuck Norris never ran a marathon."
• "$100 bills at finish! Just kidding...keep running!"
• "It'll feel better when it stops hurting."
• "We won't tell anyone you cried"
• "Hurry, they're running out of food at the finish line."
• "All toenails go to heaven"
• "Smile! Remember you paid to do this!"
• "I thought it said 2.62 miles"
• "This marathon would be fun if it weren't for the running" 

Funny Marathon Signs for Kids

If your kids are cheering for their mom, dad, teacher, or other special marathoner, here are some funny signs for them to hold.

• "Hurry up, Mom! We're hungry...and dirty!"
• "My mom runs faster than your mom!"
• "My mommy woke up full of awesome!"
• "Not just strong...mommy strong!"
• "My dad is crazy fast"
• "Hurry, we want to go to Magic Kingdom!" (seen at Disney marathon)